So I will introduce you to the third group of people you should develop metta for. Actually, you should continue cultivating metta for your teacher until your metta is well developed in order to attain jhana. After the metta for the teacher and yourself gains strength and momentum, establish jhana, and then change to a person who is very dear and close to you. However, since this retreat is relatively short, only fourteen days, we will begin working with the next metta category, the dear person.
Previous I asked you to develop metta for one hour by dividing the hour into two thirty-minute sections. Today I would like you to divide the hour into three sections: fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes, and thirty minutes. First of all, begin by developing metta for yourself by repeating the phrase, ‘May I be well, happy and peaceful continuously. For fifteen minutes, just develop metta for yourself.
Then during the second fifteen-minute period, develop metta for your respected and venerated teacher by repeating the phrase: May my teacher be well, happy and peaceful continuously for fifteen minutes. Then during the remaining thirty minutes develop metta for a very dear friend by repeating: ‘May my very dear friend be well, happy and peaceful. In the meditation hall, the clock rings every fifteen minutes, so it’s really very simple for you to keep track of the time. Again it’s important to repeat the phrases silently in your mind. By repeating the phrases continuously in this way, your mind will not be preoccupied with thinking at all, and sleepiness or laziness will not arise. In this way, you can develop samadhi or concentration quickly.
When you practice metta meditation while walking, you can again divide the hour into three periods just like you did during the sitting meditation. When you develop metta for your very dear friend, you should pay attention to one thing. If you are a man, you should develop metta for someone who is male. You should not develop metta for a woman at this stage. And also if you are a woman, you should develop metta for a very dear person who is also female. In this way, sensual desire or lust will not arise in the mind and the feeling of metta will become established quickly.
For all of Monday and Tuesday, continue developing metta in this way. Then on Tuesday night, when I give the Dhamma talk, we will develop metta for a person in the next category.
Metta (Loving-kindness) and Dosa (Anger)
Today, let’s look more carefully at the nature of metta and dosa. When you develop metta, you should reflect on metta as well as its opposite, dosa or anger. Metta can be compared to cool, clear refreshing water while dosa can be likened to a burning fire. When you drink cool water, you feel cool in the same way you experience becoming cool and fresh from developing metta. When a person touches a fire, the burning sensation of heat is similar to the way an angry person experiences himself and his inner world becoming hot. So if a person has dosa, he or she feels this burning sensation of heat in both the body and mind, and the stronger the anger, the more intense the experience of heat will be. That’s why a person should remain peaceful by removing this dosa and developing metta.
Let’s consider this analogy for a moment. Think of metta as the mathematical sign plus (+) and think of dosa as the mathematical sign minus (-). Whenever you see the minus sign in mathematics, all the numbers decrease. In the same way, when dosa exists in the mind, everything decreases. Let’s consider for a moment what sorts of things might be reduced. Obviously, the peacefulness of both the body and mind will be diminished. If you have a lot of dosa, all of the profits and benefits of your business will decrease. Many or all of your friends will leave you. Because of dosa, your wealth may be lost or destroyed. You may have many enemies, and people may hate you. You may suffer from different diseases. A person may even lose his/her beauty or attractiveness and develop an ugly appearance. An angry person may age faster and die sooner. After death, he/she will fall into a hell realm. That’s why dosa has the same effects as the minus sign (-) in mathematics.
On the other hand, metta is like the mathematical plus sign + . If a person develops metta, he/she becomes peaceful in body and mind. He/she will be able to achieve whatever he/she wants to accomplish. He/she will experience other people’s love and devotion and have many friends. The person who practices metta will have a long healthy life, free from disease.
Because of metta, he/she will fall asleep happily, have pleasant dreams. and wake up peacefully. This person will be loved by humans and protected by devas. There is no danger from weapons, fire or poisons. He/she is able to concentrate easily, and his/her facial expression is clear and serene. He/she will die with a clear, happy and peaceful mind and will be reborn in the brahma realm. For these reasons, we have to abandon dosa or anger and try diligently to develop metta.
There are many places in the scriptures where the dangers of dosa are enumerated. Dosa can destroy our dignity and other people’s dignity. Because of dosa, we may have many enemies and suffer greatly both mentally and physically. An angry person ages faster and may die sooner. Because of dosa, we may develop high blood pressure or heart disease. If a person gets angry, his/her appearance may be destroyed. Dying in such a state, he/she will be reborn in hell. After enduring an existence in a hell realm, the person who is reborn as a human being may have an ugly appearance in each subsequent existence. These are some of the consequences of dosa that are explained in the scriptures.
In our ordinary lives, we can be blinded when dosa takes a firm hold in the mind, so that we are liable to make many errors in judgment. Because of dosa, we may be held in custody or thrown into prison. Because of dosa, we may suffer greatly and be separated from our wife or husband or relatives. Because of dosa, our wealth may be lost. In short, there are no benefits to be gained from clinging to dosa. Only with metta can we derive many different kinds of benefits. So now yogis, lets do our best to abandon dosa and develop metta.
I would like to take this opportunity to repeat and elaborate a little on yesterday’s instructions, so that they are very clear and understandable for those of you who want to practice metta to attain jhana. When you practice metta meditation, you have to do it with great care, so that the metta becomes powerful.
Don’t use too many words, as it takes too long to repeat the phrases. Also, if you have to pay too much attention trying to remember the phrases, you won’t be able to concentrate and develop strong metta. For example, the phrase ‘May my teacher be well, happy and peaceful’ is the right length. Also, you should develop metta using a language you are familiar with. If you don’t understand or feel very familiar with the language you are reciting, you won’t be able to experience the feeling of metta. So, it’s important to recite the phrases in a familiar language. If you speak English, recite and develop metta in English. If you understand Chinese, develop metta in Chinese. If you understand Malay, you can recite in Malay. When you develop metta, you have to practice precisely. If you practice superficially, you will not experience the depth of metta. Only when you practice attentively and precisely will you know the powerful feeling of metta, and with this kind of metta, the person who is the object of metta will also experience the benefits of the practice.
A person who develops metta with great care experiences the benefits of metta. I will illustrate this with a story from my own experience. I walked across the grass near my kuti( Toilet ). At that moment, I happened to see a sparrow going to sleep. In the Kankoe tree, many sparrows were fighting for sleeping spots, and they argued noisily making loud ‘kywi kywi’ sounds. The sounds were deafening.
Then I noticed a hawk picking out his prey in the group of sparrows. Then a sparrow screeched loudly and struggled to escape from the hawk’s claws, making terrified ‘kywi kywi sounds and struggling to be free. The next day, when I was doing walking meditation, the same hawk returned and captured another frightened sparrow, which squawked as he struggled for his freedom. On the third day, the same thing occurred again. This time when I heard the struggle, I felt a lot of compassion for the sparrows, but I decided to cultivate metta
for both the hawk and sparrows as both are living beings and part of nature.
That day, I began developing metta for the hawk and the sparrows as well as the human beings, devas, and other living beings in the monastery compound. The next day, the hawk didn’t reappear. While I was doing metta meditation, I searched the monastery several times to see if he had returned. Even after it got dark, the hawk didn’t come back, nor did he return the following day. I wondered if the hawk had died or had been hurt by another predator. Then a week later, I saw the hawk flying over the monastery fence, but he didn’t fly into the monastery compound at all. Since that encounter, the hawk has never returned or harmed any beings in the centre. At that moment, I understood the amazing power of metta. Practicing in this way, metta can be tremendously beneficial for the recipient, so practice diligently, so its benefits can be realized fully.
Now let’s continue and talk about the following things: persons whom we should not develop metta for at the beginning of our practice, persons whom we should not develop specific metta for in our meditation and persons whom we should never develop metta for in our meditation.
There are four categories of people who should not be the object of metta meditation when we are beginning this practice. They are: persons whom we dislike, enemies or persons whom we feel hatred for, very dear persons, and neutral persons, acquaintances, or people we neither love nor hate. The practice of metta meditation should not begin with these four categories. of people. The reason for this is that it is very difficult to develop metta towards these people. If we start practicing metta for a very dear person, we will not generate the feeling of metta but lust or tanha instead. I will illustrate this by relating what one man experienced.
Living during a time when Buddhism was flourishing in Sri Lanka, there was a man who decided he wanted to practice metta meditation. When he met a monk on alms round, he asked him how to practice metta. The monk told him to first develop metta for a very dear person. So the man immediately decided to make the dear person his wife. When he tried to develop metta for his wife, he could not experience the feeling of metta. The more he tried to develop metta, the stronger his lust or tanha became.
Obsessed by lust, he feared he would act on his obsession and go to his wife’s room; however, he then realized that his wife had already locked the door. At night, he could not sleep at all because of this lust or tanha, and in frustration, he banged his head on the wall. That’s why you should not first develop metta for a very dear person.
Persons whom we dislike and enemies or persons for whom we feel hatred should also not be the object of metta meditation when we are beginning to practice. If we develop metta for person whom we dislike, we may be overcome by dosa when recalling the experience that originally made us angry with that person. Also, do not develop specific metta for a person of a different sex from yourself. Therefore, a man should not make a female the object of his metta, and a female should not develop metta for a male. However, later in practice when metta is strong, we can do specific metta meditation for both males and females without lust arising.
We should also never practice metta towards a dead person because it is impossible to reach absorption concentration practicing this way. So, when you start to practice metta, use the following sequence of objects: yourself, a respected or venerated person, a very dear person, a neutral person, a person whom you dislike or an enemy.
If you don’t hate anyone and have any enemies, you don’t need to do this. Finally, you can develop metta for all living beings. These are the categories of metta meditation. Now continue to practice according to my instructions. If you practice metta meditation according to these instructions, you will attain jhana quite easily. May all of you practice diligently and be able to realize all the benefits of metta meditation.
Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu!
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